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How to: Slow Down

October 14, 2008 at 11:43AM by Megan Cahn |

Arguing Couple

So, you’re in a relationship and things are getting pretty heavy. You may have scored high on our Are You Two Too Serious Quiz, or things between you and your S.O. just seem to be moving so fast. But at the same time, it’s all exciting and new, and you really like the person. This doesn’t mean you have to rush into anything. You have your entire life to get serious, so just have fun and use these four tips to get things going at your speed.

Listen to Your Gut
Every girl has an inner monologue that defines who she is and guides her actions. If you feel out of your comfort zone, you may not be listening to yours. Think about how your single self would have imagined your coupled self as behaving. If you’re going against that, it may be time to slow down. Trust your instincts — you know what is right for you.

Do Your Thing
Now that you’re in a relationship, you have to think about someone else’s feelings almost as much as you do your own. But it’s still important to always be yourself, and not just someone’s girlfriend. You may be feeling like you are moving too fast because you’re spending all your free time with the other person. You can’t forget to do what you love to do. Take a class you’ve always wanted to, or read that book you’ve been meaning to read. Doing stuff for yourself will only make the both of you stronger.

Be a Friend
You’ve got to be yourself and you’ve got to be there for your sweetie, but you can’t forget about your friends. They’re the ones who were there before and will be there if there’s an after. But it’s easy to become all wrapped up in love and forget about everyone else who’s important to you. Spend some time with your girls — they know the real you and will help keep you from doing things that you’re not ready for. And, of course, they would love to see you!

Be Honest
You should be able to tell your honey how you feel. Everything may seem perfect on the outside and you may think that saying you want to slow things down will ruin it. But if he’s worth it, he’ll know that you’re worth the wait. It may sound cheesy, but if he respects you, he will go at your pace. And remember, just because you may not be ready to be completely attached at the hip or to experiment sexually doesn’t mean that you two can’t have a blast really getting to know each other.

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